Since I have been back at work, which has only been a few weeks, I have been running around like a chicken with my head cut off!
The day starts whenever Olivia wakes up, usually around 6:30 and ends when she falls asleep usually around 9:00, but last night it was 10:30 and then 12:30 and then 2:30...well you get the picture! Scott has to be at work by 7:15 and he just started basketball so he doesn't usually get home until 6:30 so I have to drop Olivia off and pick her up! I feel like every morning no matter how organized I am the night before, I am still running around till the last second trying to remember everything and making sure that I have five minutes to throw on mascara and lip gloss so I can look human!
I chose to go back to work part-time for now, but it isn't really working out too well. I am trying to meet the demands of my job and motherhood and I feel like I am failing miserably at both. The purpose of wanting to be part-time was to spend more time with Olivia, but I picked her up late two days in a row last week. I also wanted to continue to nurse so I pump, but with my hectic work schedule that isn't going to well either! She is going to need to have formula during the day now becaue I am killing myself trying to find time to pump and get enough!
I know it will get better, but right now I just feel really stressed out everything. I am sooooo tired at the end of the day that I feel disconnected from Scott and myself! I just want to crawl into bed the second she falls asleep even if it is 7pm! Everything that I didn't want to happen to me is happening! Why doesn't anyone REALLY tell you how hard it all is!
Is there therapy for new mom's? If so I need it!
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3 comments:
Hi Steph! It's Megan (Brandt) - I found your blog through Kari Jackson's I think. Your little girl is beautiful - Congratulations!
I know how you're feeling - I have a 3 wk old little girl and a 2yr old boy and we aren't getting much sleep at our house either! It makes is near impossible to function throughout the day. My son was a tough one - cried all the time and didn't sleep through the night until he was 1 - but I somehow survived. I know when you're in the middle of it, it feels like you're drowning, but you can do it!
And yes, there is therapy for new moms! You should see if there is a MOPS group or something similar in your area. We have a moms group at our church and it has saved my sanity so many times over the past 2 yrs. It's so encouraging to get together with other moms who are going through the same thing, or have been through it before. there were (and still are) so many days when I feel like nothing is going right and those ladies are always encouraging and supportive. I know a lot of those groups meet during the day, but there are some in our area that meet in the evenings to accomodate working moms too.
It will get better! (I know that's not always helpful, but it is true) and hopefully it helps for you to know you are not alone in your feelings. I'm sure you are a wonderful mother. :)
Awww Steph. Sorry you're having such a tough time. I just wanted you to know I'm thinking about you and saying a little prayer that things ease up on the stress load your way soon. Sorry I don't really have any advice for you just yet, but hang in there. It's okay to be tired I'm sure it's absolutely normal. Just stay open with your husband about how you are feeling and see if there are any ways that he or your family can help you out. Being a working Mom is like putting in overtime everyday. Love ya girl!
Oh Steph you are a trooper!! Every mama goes through those growing pains of adjusting, but I suspect it just doubles/triples/etc. when you also work outside the home. I stay home with Derek and McKenzie and I still feel like a chicken with my head cut off a lot of days :) Not that this helps you, but sometimes it's just comforting to know you're NOT alone and there's nothing "wrong" with it. It's just the adjustment.
I still remember that with Derek, I didn't go anywhere for like the 1st 2 months because it was too stressful with nursing and naps, etc, and then with McKenzie it was totally different. We checked out of the hospital 2 days after having her and I walked around Target on the way home getting some last minute things. Then the next day we were at the park with Derek and back onto "life." My point is, the first time around and even anytime that something changes, it just takes a bit to get used to it. But you WILL find your groove and you'll find whatever it is that works best for you, hubby and baby :o)
(Man, those hardest parts [I felt like at least] was the all-nighters, where you're up every hour or two...you just never get to your REM sleep that you NEED so much as a mommy! I feel ya! Derek's been sick lately too, so I've felt like I'm back to a newborn, crazy!)
Hang in there, it WILL get better. Just love on her and all the good things will pop back into your mind and deter you from thinking of the severe lack of sleep ;)
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